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If you want to be famous, don’t go lesbian. Go bisexual.

What is it with being lesbian or bisexual nowadays? It’s become everybody’s ticket to fame. Just imagine how Lady Gaga’s popularity shot up when she claimed that she has been fooling around with girls at the same time as boys. Lindsay Lohan. Katy Perry. Madonna. Britney Spears. I’m too tired to enumerate all.

Lady Gaga

Most lesbians scoff – how dare these stars use the “I kissed a girl and I liked it” gimmick to get a few interviews and a few album buys and sold-out concert tickets around the world!

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Popularity: 19% [?]

Are heading off to your first lesbian bar outing? Before you head out, take a few minutes to go over your purse and check if you have these things that you might actually need:

1. Breath mints – Of course you brushed your lesbian teeth before heading out. But undoubtedly you’ll swig a few bar drinks down and contrary to popular opinion, its not particularly great when you get close to someone and spew out alcohol breath.

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Popularity: 25% [?]

I have not been able to post anything for almost a month, and with that I apologize to the loyal readers of this blog.

Lately, I’ve literally run out of things lesbian to talk about. There have been many things going on.

Like the recent tragedy that befell our family a week ago when typhoon Ondoy (international name Ketsana). The whole Philippines was victimized by a raging typhoon that dumped a week’s worth of rain. If you haven’t heard about it, or for those who are not tired of it yet, the gist of the calamity can be found here:

The floodwater reached the roof of our house and we’ve done nothing but clean and wash everything for the past week. I personally have blow dried photos – only about 10% of my childhood album was recoverable.

With the tragedy that has fallen our country, and many will be mad at me for this thought, but I actually got ashamed that all these years I have been doing nothing but gripe about gay and lesbian rights, devoting thousands of man hours for it, when so many people in our country don’t even have food and shelter.

I’m greatly reconsidering moving my advocacy priority into a greener and more sustainable area – that of saving the earth.

Should lesbiand and gays be refocusing on the green movement?

Climate change has such a big impact on everyone, straight and gay people alike, that if we don’t all fight for it, then there would be no lesbians on earth to even have the basic of rights.

Popularity: 14% [?]

Is it harder to say sorry to lesbian than it is to a heterosexual partner?

When apologizing with a basket of flowers and chocolates does not work anymore, how do you say sorry to a lesbian friend? Or even a lesbian partner?

I am extremely terrible at this. Saying sorry to a male friend is giving me the chills (it’s not really a pride thing, but an embarrassment-that-i-have-to-say-sorry-because-i-screwed-up thing), and they say most guys forget about it the next day. Saying sorry to a female friend is going to cause me a fitful night without sleep.

Can anyone resist this apology?

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Popularity: 15% [?]

Yuri refers to love between women in Japanese media

Imagine spending a lazy Sunday video morning flipping through channels and then stopping at a local Japanese anime cartoon that looked funny enough.

The title  is “School Rumble” – a funny-enough series I’ve been following almost regularly, or whenever I can.

This specific episode was interesting enough – it was mid-episode and the characters appeared to be in a play – a blonde girl playing a prince and a dark-haired girl playing a sorcerer. They were fighting over the kiss of “Sleeping Beauty” – who we see is a man in a dress.

In any case, fast forward, the sorcerer wins and is about to kiss Sleeping Beauty when suddenly a spy drops from the sky and kisses guy in a dress. The crowd cheers, “Spy is so handsome!”

Only, the spy is a girl. What? Sounds like a yuri remark. Can I really be hearing this from a Sunday morning cartoon?

To top the cream with cherry, in the party celebrating the play afterwards, we find the blonde “prince” asking the sorcerer for a dance, and we find the sorcerer blushing and complimenting the prince on how good a dancer she was. The dance was shot ala Beauty and the Beast – rotating cameras, roses all around, romantic music, twinkling lights background. In the end, we see their faces together, ready for a kiss.

!!!!!!!!!!!

If only I knew early Sunday morning cartoons is this homo-friendly, with actual yuri video scenes, I’d have woken up earlier every Sunday before and drooled at such scenes!

You can watch the video yourself. The juicy yuri scene is on the three-minute mark up til the end:

I’m not elaborating on details about the cartoon but you can learn more about School Rumble here. Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear to have any yuri or lesbian reference other than this.

Popularity: 16% [?]

Isn’t being in a car with a bunch of lesbians just thrilling?

There’s a sort-of evolution within a lesbian group of friends that go through the phases of lesbian car-owning. I was reflecting on this just recently as my own lesbian gang started a road trip somewhere, and we were all in cars. Cool and dandy. Then I realized this hasn’t always been the case.

Road Tripping Lesbians

Not so long ago, we were a just bunch or cab-taking or car-pooling folk. But look at us now, huh?

The phases are as follows:

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Popularity: 25% [?]

Bored? ALone? Or are you with lesbian friends? I’ve put together a short list of games that every lesbian should play at one point in their lives!

Alone

1. Lesbo Malibu Barbie – A lesbian barbie living the high life! Strut your stuff in a bikini and walk along the plastic trees in your corvet and check out the other Malibu Barbies! Practice your line on one of them and see if anybody agrees to a lesbo Vegas wedding.

2. Lesbo SIMS – put together a bunch of girls in a SIMS house and watch the havoc arise as they hit on each other and slap each other silly over jealous live-in partners and girlfriends! It’s quite a riot I never get tired of.

Hot lesbian SIMS action

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Popularity: 13% [?]

Have you ever had the experience where you were such in a tight lesbian spot, you had to defend yourself?

No, I’m not talking about *that* spot. I’m talking about dangerous and abuse situations we lesbians could be in. Ironically, these dangerous situations are not from our heterosexual counterparts but from us lesbians ourselves.

Lesbian abuse. Sadly, it does exist. It is an invisible aspect of of our lesbian movement we wish to turn away from. Sadly, it does happen, although maybe not at a rate that our heterosexual counterparts have, but it exists.

A documentary called She Stole My Voice talks about lesbian rape, and it is an eye opener. When I first watch it, I didn’t want heterosexuals to see it. I was afraid they would think less of us. But then I realized that it is a reality, and covering it up would be a disservice to the same rights we are fighting for.

She Stole My Voice: Lesbian abuse documentary

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Popularity: 30% [?]

I was stuck in a conversation with somebody I didn’t know. Bisexuals came up, and because of the few rounds of beer I’ve downed I couldn’t help but voicing out my opinion.

An opinion that reeked of discrimination, no matter how hard I tried to mask it with fluffy words.

This is nothing new. Somebody asked me this question several weeks ago: Why do lesbians hate bisexuals?

I couldn’t really answer.  Technically, lesbians don’t hate bisexuals – we’re part of the LGBT acronym, all lumped together in one speck of society, aren’t we? I guess the right word is misunderstanding. Lesbians don’t understand bisexuals.

I personally have this ridiculous theory that there is really no bisexual person – like you can’t like girls and guys at the same time. You can like girls for five minutes (making you a lesbian), and then guys the next (making you a hasbian).

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Popularity: 6% [?]

Some people think we have it easy pride-marching around in colorful boas (see baguio pride march post)and spending friday nights having first-times in public places, but there are 9 reasons why being a feminist lesbian is not as easy as you think:

1. You look at somebody in the bathroom and they think you’re trying to hit on them. Excuse me, we have taste.

2. You can’t wear a rainbow shirt without being teased about going to an out rally.

3. Gay brands seldom go on sale. And when they do, it’s usually because they’ll close down soon.

4. You can’t look tomboy (baggy jeans, huge shirt, bling, rubber shoes) just for the hang of it. It will ‘reinforce the stereotype’.

5. When somebody makes an incorrect statement in front of you, everybody expects you to be angry.

6. People around you have the hardest time choosing words. “Uhm, you know, your, uh… homosexual power dynamics”.

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Popularity: 13% [?]