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I had the most heterosexual Christmas family celebration yesterday.

I am out as a lesbian to everyone except my family (Good thing they don’t use the internet. Google up my name and all sorts of gay and lesbian things pop out). But in fact, in yesterday’s party, there are actually two confirmed and one unconfirmed lesbians – all close family members.

When my mother dies (not that I wish it- I’m just thinking ahead), I’ll come out and bring my girlfriend to our parties.

But I digress. Look at what I got as presents from my straight relatives:

1. A capricorn mug and a bottle of multivitamins from my Dad (haha)

2. A pink flowery nightgown from an aunt, circa Big Bad Wolf in Three Little Piggies

Is this hot in the heterosexual world?

3. A “Less is More” desk calendar from Shell from an uncle – justifying bad times?

4. A purple faux alligator skin wallet from a godmother – with $1 inside

Look at what I got from my straight officemates (who I am out to):

1. Yet another mug – I think I look dehydrated

2. Dangly silvery earrings that look like it could belong to Ovidie

3. A porridge keychain! WTF? Maybe I always look hungry too

Why would anybody want a keychain of this?

4. A heterosexual-lovebirds desk calendar featuring their lomography shots. How… straight.

But as I said, lesbians give the best gifts EVER. To prove:

1. A handmade book thong courtesy of a dear lesbian friend, owner of Ananda Kanani.

2. A Nina Ricci wallet and designer bag from my lesbian aunt. Must have cost a fortune. Can’t wait to sell them!

3. Spanish Tarot Cards in pink courtesy of my lesbian org exchange gift. I want a voodoo hat next.

4. Milk Bath Salt courtesy of another of my lesbian orgs exchange gift. *Winking to girlfriend*

Looking forward to the bath salt

5. A plush gorilla in red boxer shorts (with hearts on them!), 5 Gundam build-me action figures (oh joy!), and an angel bookmark courtesy of girlfriend. <3

Oh well. Just goes to show that it takes one to know one? Hahaha.

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