Posted by Lesfriendly.com - The lesbian blog | Posted in Advertising, Lesfriendly, Rocket Science, Survival | Posted on 16-01-2010
I’m not good at lying. So if you catch a lesbian lying, that would probably be me. You can easily tell little lying lesbian me is not telling the truth when I either:
a. Avert my eyes while speaking. There’s scientific research somewhere that says women tend to look left when inventing a story, seeking their more creative right brain
b. Sound specially excited. “You’re movie was soooo great! Specially the part where, uh, at the end…” (mentally banging head against wall for stupid statement)
c. Give too much details without being asked. “Hey babe! I’m going out tonight to watch a movie at 8.30 with Ashley and Mich, we’ll get buttered popocorn. With a drink. And a straw.” (stronger mental headbang)
d. Volunteer information. “Hi! I’m a 3rd year middle school student and I’m just calling for my history research. What? You’ve heard this before?” (sticks dagger in own chest)
There I times I do need to lie though. Why? Because I work in advertising, that’s why.
A lesbian liar is not hard to find
I’ve done some research on what lesbians shouldn’t do in order to be a more effective liar and guess what, it’s don’t do all of the above. Then every dyke should be fine.
I know this already, but somehow I can’t let it sink in. I still look left when concocting a story. I still volunteer too much information, it’s so obvious they’re made up.
And you know what’s worse, I can’t tell if anyone is lying to me either…
Good thing my girlfriend is nice enough not to give me reason to lie, and not to give me reason to be embarassed that I can’t tell she’s lying. I think.
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