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I noticed that recently, most people land on my site looking for gifts for lesbians. Then I realized that its actually 2 more weeks before Christmas!

My apologies for the delay, but here it is: Get on our good side by consulting The Happy Lesbian Holiday Gift Guide for all Budgets, before buying that smelly pair of socks!

$10 or less

On a budget this year? With so many companies closing down, don’t be shy to scrimp a little. But you can still spread some joy to your girl-loving friends!

1. The Adventures of a Lesbian College School Girl (Paperback)

Follow the adventures of Petra, one horny school girl

Petra is one adventurous school girl who can’t wait to get some lovin’ with harnessed toys into every opening of her newly developed womanhood. Happily, finding an equally fired-up lezzie companion in school turns out not to be so difficult. Better yet, she’s mouthwateringly gorgeous! Get it for $9.95 from Amazon.com.

2. A dyke shirt – Trust me, we’ll love you for this. Just be sure to get the size right (hint: look at the chest), and don’t dare ask!

Let's get one thing straight... I'm not

You can spot some cool and affordable dykes tees (they have shirts that come in complementary pairs for couples!) ($5 up) at Radar Pridewear.

3. Rainbow Dog Tags – You’ll get more than a bark as thanks when you get us one of these cool dog tags.

Dawg, show us some lovin'

You’ll find a whole variety of them for less than $10 at Diverse Universe.

$50 and less

1. TIGI S Factor Dream Drops – Do you what they say about lesbian hair? They say it rocks. And it’s true. Help us keep our reputation. TIGI S-Factor Dream Drops Shine On Superior shine necessity. Heat Protectant, hair sealer and restorer. Nourishes hair follicle. Avocado Oil rich in Vitamins A, D, and E, nourishes hair. Need we say more?

The magical serum to hot lesbian hairstyles

You can order online at ciao for $20 up.

2. Royce Chocolate – Oh my god this is the absolutely fantasy of all lesbians who love sweets! Made in Japan, you can eat through half a tray without realizing it.

Not too sweet and strangely addicting

The perfect aphrodisiac

Prices start at $20 per pack. You can easily buy the whole range, but it’s a little hard to find. Check your big grocery stores and Duty-Frees.

3. Giant Plush Microbes – These are the most adorable things on the planet and your girl will be so proud of you when you get it!

Beer and Bread

An egg cell plush toy - isn't she cute?

Just be careful not to get offensive microbes- there are a few nasty ones like gonorrhea. You can get them from The Giant Microbes Website for less than $30 for the whole set.

$100 up

1. Time for Peace – Everybody’s always wanted to own a Pride watch. This watch will be a sure hit among lesbian groups. And it makes it easy to find your friend in a dark bar.

A badge of pride

Available for $350 at Love and Pride.

2. A Hilton hotel stay for 2 – Give the poor stressed-out lesbian the gift of being a pampered spoiled brat a la Paris. Trust me, the $1,000 you’ll spend will be worth it (just ask who you’ll give the fit to right after her stay!).

You can book online and choose the Hilton hotel nearest to your lucky lezzie’s area. Visit the Hilton Hotels website for more information.

3. A Macbook Air – This is a work-of-art. The lord of all holiday gifts. The nirvana of all lesbian hopes and dreams. It’s sleek, light, sexy and screams “I’m rich and artsy!”. I would scrub your floor for one. Seriously – I’ll split you shipping.

Who's the extremely lucky lady?

It starts at $1,799. You can check out more specs at the Apple Macbook Air website.

Happy Holidays and good luck!

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