Lesfriendly.com – The Lesbian BlogLesbian blog. Queer Reviews. Gay Movies. Lesbian Kisses. Everything dyke.

If you’re a regular lesfriendly.com visitor (and most likely lesbian), you would find that I have a penchant for zombies.

And so, while watching my regular dose of zombie movies one weekend, I jotted down a list of tips on what lesbians should do in case House of the Dead comes to life.

1. Come out. While everyone is out there screaming and shouting, take the license to shout “I’m gaaaaay!!!” while running down the street headed for the nearest safe house. You may want to make sure your parents are listening.

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Popularity: 3% [?]

Probably the most-asked question in lesbian history is the question, “Why are you gay?”. Of course, I can always retort with the throw-back of “Why are you straight?”, but sometimes, its fun to just make the most out of it and try to gauge people’s reactions when you give out these answers:

1. My mother was extremely gifted in the chest area. Once, while breastfeeding me, I grabbed her other one. My fate has been sealed since.

2. My dad rested me in a crate-full of girl pornography videos while I was a kid.

3. During high school, I read lesbians scored higher in the SATs. I decided that I wanted to be smarter.

We lesbians are generally smarter, you know

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Popularity: 4% [?]

Have you ever thought you can turn a straight girl into a lesbian in as short as 27 seconds? Well, here is the alleged method: a turn-me-into-a-lesbian video.

Disappointed lots? Lol. I can understand. Its boring, it kinda sucks, and there are no photos of women with a less-than-abundant amount of clothing. But it actually has a hypnotizing effect. I find myself replaying, just like I the penchant I have to spelling banana over and over again (b-a-n-a-n-a. Try it).

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Popularity: 20% [?]

Lesbians are known for their sex drives but sometimes, getting it on every hour just doesn’t cut it. You’re tired, you’d rather be sleeping, American Idol is coming up in 15 minutes. But you shouldn’t use these lame excuses- they’re bound to either lead to an argument (“You don’t find me attractive anymore”) or backlash ( Ever heard of Lesvenge?). Instead, juice up your conversations with these get-out-of-sex excuses:

1. I Just played wrestling with *insert pet name here* and I found a ton of fleas on his body! Boy, picking them off one by one sure made me feel guilty.

2. I was emptying the sharpener at the office today when I spilled the shillings. I had to scrape them off the floor by hand! Ooh, look at that big one stuck under my left index finger right there.

lesbians don't particularly find this hygienic

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Popularity: 8% [?]

1. “Dude, I didn’t know you liked abstract lesbian art.”

2. “You got screwed. Plastic surgery costs a lot nowadays.”

3. “Tale as old as time…”

As true as lesbian love can be

4. “Yo! Why you holding hands with a man?”

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Popularity: 4% [?]

Alfalfa sprouts.

I had a lesbian moment as I was biting into a dried ham sandwich prepared by my office mate C. Several sensations and images passed through my head as I chewed on the sprouts. Mostly scenes also chewing on something.

Try looking at the photos below and see if you agree with me:

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Popularity: 4% [?]

Philippines’ virginal and young Outrage Magazine recently came up with the feature entitled Stirred, AND Shaken… GLBTQIA Shakers and Movers written by an M.D. dela Cruz Tan, an article that supposedly showcases the 10 community members that helps break the bonds of the gay stereotype in the Philippines.

I could imagine the scenario in my head: the bulk of readership, advertisers and contact of Outrage are members of the community who were interested in men ie. gay men, bisexuals and trans (M-F). That is the only legitimate reason why I will try to rationalize their own fault of not exactly representing the whole community in the 10 LGBTQIA shakers they featured.

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Popularity: 7% [?]

Shane shook her booty to hook some hideous jetskiing guy in CSI Miami Season 6 Episode 19: Rock and a Hard Place in the role of Mary Landis.

This, of course, leads to the eventual knocking out of the guy and her subsequent questioning by ever-so-overacting Horacio.

Its not pretty. Shane has become such a natural part of Kate, its hard to imagine Kate anymore. Shane has become her, and in this gut-spilling CSI episode, Shane tries to hook herself some male fan.

Eeeeeeew.

Anyway, Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 3% [?]

I know. Poor, poor girl.

But then she had it coming. She was wearing a loose tube top dress thingy that wasn’t even double-sided-taped on her body.

For those who don’t know Marian Rivera, she’s the FHM’s sexiest Filipina for 2008.

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Popularity: 12% [?]

A while ago I posted up an entry about The Stranger Masturbation Method.

This morning, on the same radio show (Good Times with Mo), an Einstein of a caller suggested The Stranger Switch.

Apparently, the “stranger feeling” goes away after about 30 seconds as the feeling goes back to your hand. But sitting on the other hand too will let you extend the sensation as you’re doing the deed as you switch one hand for another. Then Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 6% [?]